My father sent this one to me:
Citizens, taxpayers, serfs…
There is a new virus in our proud state. More than 99.9% of you will survive. Those who realize you’re sick will have mild symptoms, and 80% of you won’t even know you had it. Even among those who are 90-years old or older who get this virus, 90% will survive. Like every malady, the elderly and unhealthy among you are at greatest risk.
But remember our motto, if one elderly sick grandma ever dies, we must all remain enslaved forever .
Because of this new virus, I have decided to order every citizen to stay indoors until further notice. Perhaps for a year or two until Dr. Bill Gates is ready to sell you his vaccines. Effective immediately, all businesses except those I deem essential are to be closed. The businesses that bribe, sorry, donate the most will be allowed to stay open. It is, after all, a free market.
The 12-year Government Indoctrination Centers are to be closed but I urge all young people to continue studying our propaganda at home .
Going to parks and beaches is now prohibited on penalty of arrest and steep fines. If you must go somewhere, please be prepared to show your papers to the police, showing what you are doing outside your home. If you have a legitimate government-approved reason for being outside, such as working for the government or the mainstream media, your face must be covered, not as completely covered as women in Saudi Arabia, of course, those people are barbaric, but you get the idea: Wear masks wherever you go , except in the bank, in which case, take off the mask because the risk of virus transmission is considered lower than the risk of the bank’s camera system not seeing your face.
Also, you may no longer assemble or gather in groups. You may not get close to people outside your home. Speaking of your home, visits to your home by friends and family are now prohibited. Armed members of the government will soon be coming to your door to take some random tests. If anyone in the house tests positive for this completely random test, we will kidnap you and put you in the camps. Don’t worry about your children , we will take care of them in our state-of-the-art orphan asylums where we’ll make sure they receive their brand .
In the future, should you wish to travel, shop or really, live at all, you will need Dr. Bill Gates’ mark of the beast. Should you try to live in society and you do not have the mark of the beast you will also be taken to the camps for forced injections and marking .
Of course, some will disagree with my actions, but those who use social media to try to arrange protests, Facebook will take down your pages. Some scientists will have different opinions, but if anyone places contradictory opinions on YouTube, YouTube will take down those videos and any others that do not adhere to our edicts. Dissenters will be taken to the FEMA re-education camps .
Remember, we live in a free country with the moniker, “land of the free, home of the brave”. And, at dire times like this, it is important that no one is free and we remain very scared.
Dear tax slaves, we can fight this invisible enemy and we can win, if you all follow these orders.
God Bless our Idiocracy. And, remember, as always, you don’t own yourself. We do.
May the odds be with you.
Your Lord and Supreme Masters